A friend of mine introduced me to this absurd challenge. The Sea-to-Summit bike route climbs 10,000 vertical feet in 36 miles from the north shore of Maui to the summit of Haleakala. The longest paved climb in the world! As a novice cyclist, such a thing seemed completely out of reach.

But when I mentioned it to my wife, she said “You should just do it.” Easy for her to say right? But the challenge was on. To prepare, I emailed some bikesexual friends for advice and logged a couple of short rides back home… but make no mistake, I was coming in cold. According to strava, my biggest hill climb ever on a bike was 500 ft. This would be 20x that!

So I went into this with the plan that I’d just turn around if I hit the wall too hard. The only things I was banking on were that a rental bike would be so much better than my own and the average 5.1% grade would be gradual enough for me to somehow keep going.

Things started off on the wrong foot. I had read online that it’s “mandatory” to start by putting a foot in the ocean (I asked the guy at the bike shop about this and he shrugged suggesting it was a completely stupid idea). But what the hell, I decided might as well do it. Around 7:30am, I found myself on Baldwin Beach with one shoe off waiting to dip my sock in a wave… and a big wave came up and sucked my shoe out into the surf. I ran in and completely soaked both socks. Idiot. Thank god no one was there to witness.

On the bike before 8am, I started the climb. Yes, it was gradual, but man, it was sooo hot & humid. I would chug water and see it roll instantly out of my skin. The Maui sun is so intense… I reapplied sunblock on my pale Seattle skin a million times. But the bike sliced up the hill like butter… so smooth and incredibly better than my own bike back home.

Rolled into Makawao’s general store with bone dry water bottles. Chugged, refilled, ate a banana bread. Then it was upward for a long time.

Finished my water again somewhere before Kula Lodge. At 3100 ft elevation or so, it was only a tiny bit cooler and less humid. I stumbled into the Kula Lodge gift shop and replenished. Also tried a free taste of the coconut peanut butter.

Then I hit the switchbacks… around 4000 ft started to feel really fatigued. The switchbacks section is really, really long. I stopped at least 5 times to eat goos, bars, and rehydrate. My pace slowed. The clouds started to move in, the temperature dropped. This gave me a big boost for a while, but the climb was relentless. By the time I made it to the National Park Visitor Center at 7000 ft, I was… completely spent. I almost fell off my bike as I unclipped. I sat on a stone wall and stared into space for a few minutes before I could even eat anything. I contemplated turning around.

But I knew I was going to keep going. Back on the bike, everything had tightened up, but I managed to pedal through it. The next section of switchbacks I want to dub “the longest switchbacks in the world”. Each leg was probably a mile. My frequency of breaks increased; I started measuring my progress in 100 vertical foot increments. Time slowed. Welcome to the Pain Train.

Slogged it up to 8000 ft. Only 2000 ft left! I can will myself to do that, I think. I put my head down and slowly climb for a long time before checking my elevation again. 8100 ft. You’ve got to be kidding me. This had gotten way mental.

9000 ft. Within reach. A sign: 2 miles to summit. Now it was legitimately cold but the constant climbing kept me warm. Finally made it to the top visitor center. I stopped for a goo and went for the “brutal last bit”… the grade increased and I started panting in the thin air. Totally anaerobic. Rolled into the summit parking lot.

“Congratulations! Good job!” onlookers said. I couldn’t reply for 30 seconds I was so red-lined. A legendary grepic.

But the grepicness of the day wasn’t over… within 5 min of leaving the summit a storm moved in. A downpour, the road turned into streams. Soaked to the core and shaking from the cold. Coldest I’ve ever been on a bike.

Rolled into the visitor’s center at 7000 ft and used the hand warmer in the bathroom to warm up my hands and core. Waited for the rain to let up but it actually started raining harder. Back on the bike, froze down another 2000 ft until the temp started to pick up. By the time I hit Kula Lodge, it was Hawaii again. The sun came out, everything was green. All that was left was a pleasant coast all the way back to the beach, thinking the whole time:

I made it!